June 9, 2015
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Just because there has been a PAUSE in my blog, say’s nothing to the beautiful chaos going on in our lives!
This being 6-7-15 means we have lived some amazing adventures.
Mark has been working hard at work. He has been trying to go completely commercial, but when people find him for a personal build he will. More exciting, Mark was called to be the president of the Elders Quorum. When he was called though, the Stake president was so amazing. Mark was concerned about how knowledgable he was in the church, and the president simply reminded that this was not a calling from him or our bishop, this was a calling from God. I guess to that we KNOW our Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and our Strengths. I am so thankful for Mark in my life because of his love for the gospel and for me. We have had our fair share of struggles, but man does that make life so much sweeter when we work through them and grow stronger because of them! Love of my life, that man.
So moving on. Man all mighty have I been ambitious. We have turned in all our paper work for fostering and have completed all our courses. We have passed our home study and now await for our placement. What an exciting new adventure. Also, this past year Mark and I decided that Homeschooling for our children was the path we were choosing. This did not come easily. Mark and I both struggled pretty bad in school and were watching our children show some of the same struggles that we had. Nandy did very well in 1st grade, but she was very distracted. So to be where all the other kids were (or further) she worked for it. I knew that if I could take the time, she could learn how to study with all the distractions around her and learn on a level that was program or fit to her. We started her 2nd grade and she excelled AMAZINGLY. With all that said we pulled Reed out of his Kindergarten year half way through (also showing signs of struggle through distractions) and when he came home he was NOT reading, but within 2 weeks he was further than most of the kids in his class were with Reading. I am sold with Homeschooling. People (many) have asked me if I miss my “ME TIME”? Yes, very much. But when I see the growth my kids are making and the time we are able to spend bonding and growing together, I wouldn’t change one single thing. I will get my “me time” when my kids don’t need me like they do now. I am so blessed to have the ability to teach them. I have also learned so much. Watching my kids grow is such a blessing.
Nandy, turned 8 in March and made the decision to be baptized in the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. What a beautiful baptism that was. Both Grandpa’s spoke. Grandpa Nelson spoke on the Holy Ghost, and Grandpa Willison spoke on baptism. Grandma Nelson gave the opening prayer and Grandma Willison gave the closing prayer. Our Bishop (Willis Clyde) Gave closing remarks and it was so BEAUTIFUL. Watching Nandy grow and make choices has been so exciting. I watch her choose to be honest (for the most part). She is so loving towards her brother and sister. They are so lucky to have her. Words cannot express what joy she brings into my life. I am thankful EVERYDAY for who she is and who she is becoming.
Reed, oh man the book I could right about this amazing boy! Mark Reed has been a sensitive boy from the start, but when I see him so concerned and so caring for his sisters, it brings tears to my eyes. Words can hurt this boy. When he is around kids that are not being kind to him he will get sad and walk away. We have been working on this. Mark and i have explained to him that sometimes kids are mean but really they don’t even know that they are hurting others. I told him that how others treat him, don’t define who he is. Now I watch him, when kids are mean, he can walk away with his head held high and find something else to do. This kid will heal others in life. I just know it. He loves building Lego’s and always includes his sisters. Reed shares everything he has with no animosity about it. He asked me yesterday if I knew what was the first to see the sun in the mornings. I asked him what, he replied with “the leafy tree tops, and the birds”. The song from primary came flooding into my memory. I love the things this kid grasps and clings too.
Gracie “stinkin” Paige, thinking about her makes me smile. She is a girl of few words but is making her way to the top. In the last couple of weeks her vocabulary has expanded exponentially. Gracie received some new “light up” shoes, so now she walks around saying “new shoes, light up”. This may not sound to impressive for a 3 one month away from being 4, but man what progress. We have been working pretty hard on potty training and some days are better than others, again, I think she is progressing really well that we are almost there. Her heart is whole, with no complications from her surgery. For this I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father. She is our Miracle and she fills our home with excitement and joy. Gracie has taken to the balance bike really well and I am watching her motor skills improve every day. Just this week she has jumped (in rhythm) on a big trampoline. So excited to see what she does next!
Loving my life as a mom, Wife, sister, aunt, daughter, and most importantly… DAUGHTER OF GOD.
April 10, 2012
Next to the Market!
So the other day I was …… well who knows what I was doing, when Nandy is running through the hall and suddenly stubs her toe and comes whining to me saying ” Mom I hurt my toe running….. The one next to the Market “! That girl is making me feel like I need to do a “Nandy Quote of the Day” I would read it!
Reed, is just about to turn “3”. We are almost done with POTTY TRAINING… I hope. He is talking so much clearer, so it is so fun to here the things he has to say. His new thing is whenever he feels it appropriate he asks “Mom, you appy?” Which is how he say’s Happy! So sweet to know he cares if I am happy or not. If I am in a little slump, just hearing him ask me if I am “appy” pulls me right out of it…. Well most of the time.
Gracie Paige, is LOVING her brother and sister. They smother her with love all the time. If she is laying on the ground they use her as a hurtle, they will circle around her and jump over her….. This scares me to death but it keeps her LAUGHING! Her laugh is priceless. My brother said that once the surgery takes place and some times has passed that everything we went through pre surgery would seem like a dream. Crazy enough it does. Its when I see her scar that I am reminded of the struggles we had lived for that, now short, amount of time.
Mark is going to be building my parents house out in Chico this summer, so we are packing up and headed to Chico for the whole summer. I am so excited to watch my kids have Mason and Sydnee as Neighbors. To wake up and be able to run next door and play with their cousins, is soooooo fun for me!
March 29, 2012
Returning to “REAL LIFE”
Now I don’t know if there is a greater thing than watching our family be able to go back to “the norm”. After returning home off of Oxygen and her feeding tube, we were working on feedings. Gracie was feeding better but we were hoping for more. After a couple of weeks, she really built up, she is having around 4 ounces every 4 hours but that is all orally so this was HUGE! After returning home we heard that Reese the little girl who had a scare while we were down the hall had passed away. This news broke my heart because I just remember the pain and sadness in here parents eyes when they were in that hallway watching all the doctors and Nurses surrounding her doing what they could at 3am. I couldn’t help but feel guilt for the great news and growth of our own little Gracie Paige. Then a couple of weeks later I was texting with Little Jersey ( the little girl whose mom I had become pretty close with in the waiting room) mom, who informed me that Jersey had also passed away. Again the pain I felt for her parents and the sorrow I feel towards her parents that have already endured so much. After really working through my feelings I just revert to the fact of when a child before the age of 8 is taking from earth, it is only because they were too pure for this life! I take comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father was able to hold his precious babies again, and what better place than in his arms!
Nandy has been so in touch with her sensitive side with hearing about these precious babies. We have been discussing returning to live with our heavenly father and she just comes up with these wonderful idea’s like; on the way to school the other day Nandy had mentioned that she would like to write a letter to Jesus so that when she goes up to heaven she could bring it to him. I told her I think that was a great idea and we could write letters later that night as a family. A moment later she said we should bring him a present too, then she got excited thinking that some Fruit would be a great gift so Jesus would have something to eat… then she paused and said ” well maybe not because I don’t want it to go bad.” I love her thought and her love for her Jesus!
A couple of days after the letter Idea Nandy, Reed, and Mark were outside working on who knows what, and so I get Gracie dressed and head outside to spend the afternoon playing with the kiddo’s outside. When I got out there I saw Nandy with a shovel and she was “attempting” to dig a whole in our dirt. Mark said to me “ask Nandy what she is doing” , I then looked at Nandy (still very engaged in digging a hole) and asked ” what are you doing Nandy”, she than replied I am digging a hole to place a present in for little Jersey so she has a toy to play with up in HEAVEN!!!! I am soooo impressed with her love and understanding of giving!
Since we are on a kick of Nandy story telling I will share just one more cute comment she made to her Grandma Way Far Away. Grandma called and wanted to say hi to Nandy so they were talking when grandma told Nandy that she really missed being with her and she couldn’t wait to spend the summer with her. Nandy asked why she was so bummed, so Grandma reminded Nandy it’s because she wasn’t with her. This is when Nandy said ” oh yeah, its hard to miss your buddies”. This made grandma and mom laugh out loud! Loving my little baby sweet heart!
Until the next time,
Nancy
February 26, 2012
Church in Hospital
Today is Sunday February 26th and despite what time my blog says, it’s actually 12:07 pm. So today we were invited to attend the Hospitals own branch of Church which is held every Sunday but instead of being 3 hours they make it 30 minutes. Really its just to be able to take the sacrament. When we walked into this room and there was prelude music playing you could feel the spirit right away. As we (mark and I) sat down in the very back (felt uncomfortable being at church in my t-shirt and scrub pants that have a gap where the zipper should be). Listening to the music was very relaxing and sweet but then you started to watch the chapel fill up. Mark and I watched as doctors, nurses, patients, parents and staff of all kinds came and sat down. This was very cool because just earlier I was thinking how it would be for the LDS employees’ to be working on Sunday and how often they have to work on a Sunday. I thought what a cool experience to be able to take the sacrament while attending church all the while working. A lady got up to say the opening prayer, this was in itself pretty spiritual because she was so in tune with her feelings and the prayer (to me would be hard to do in a room of sick and afflicted people, to me that would be pressure) she spoke as if it were just her in the room offering a personal and silent prayer, you know the kind you are supposed to offer each and every time you pray, but sometimes feel the pressure of every day life and it gets cute short or is more of a talk than a prayer). After the prayer the men passed the sacrament, this was cool because really for a moment you forget where you are. But then came the special musical number… also sung by the men who passed the sacrament. The song was “A Childs Prayer”. This brought tears to my eyes and then the water works. What an unexpected song. As I listened to the song (as I have many times being once in primary and then being a teacher and in the presidency of primary). This time it was different because I sat there looking back on all the children and all the parents that I have encountered this hospital experience. Knowing of all the hardships and trial that each and every one of us have been through and knowing of the prayer that have been asked of our Heavenly father, even the adults who have offered prayers in a child like faith. Knowing that all of us are in his hands and there is only faith that can help us through these times. Again my heart poured out in love and gratitude for the blessing that we have received for our little Gracie and our family. I am so thankful for her strength and turn around these last couple days. I still pray for the families and children that have not made it over the hill and hope that they know of our Heavenly Fathers love for them. What a spiritual day.
On another note they were going to release us today but with a NG tube (feeding tube), I had some concerns so we are going another night trying to get our little girl to DOUBLE what she has been taking. Updates to follow.
All my love,
Nancy
February 25, 2012
CICU NO MORE!
This morning I woke up from a very restful sleep…………………. Get it? A restful sleep in a hospital, sleeping on a couch! The night was kinda rough for our little Gracie girl, she was struggling with pain. They were trying to take her off Morphine, and give her Lortab instead, but she does NOT like it. We tried and tried and she was NOT having it so they put her back on Morphine because she would not eat, she couldn’t sleep, it was just a rough night all together. It breaks my heart to know that she couldn’t get comfortable because of pain. So needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. But there was more…….. There was this guy who was sleeping on a couch next to us. To be fair he said ” I want to apologize in advance because I’ve been told I snore, but it never wakes me up”. I told him it doesn’t matter because I have a husband who would give him a run for his money! This guy fell asleep and Mark was in shock…… HE COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW LOUD HE SNORE!!!! I laugh only because MARK had NO idea that it was VERY comparable to the way he snores. Anyway, between Mark, guy on COUCH, and Gracie, I was doomed.
Today Gracie had an x ray and it showed that the fluid was headed in the right direction, meaning it was slowly diminishing. She seemed to be more alert (this is hard again because of pain control, but they gave her Morphine so that was the trick), they took out all her tube and wires, this was painful for me, luckily not for her thanks to Vitamin K and Morphine. 
After these were taken off they put orders in to release her from CICU (Cardiatric intensive care unit)
February 23, 2012
130 ML
I cant believe it!!!!! Gracie took 130 Ml orally. This is the most she has EVER eaten orally. The crazy part is it is 24 hours after open heart surgery. This just goes to show that she really is such a strong baby. We were supposed to ease into eating orally but SHE WONT STOP!!! Its amazing. She is loosing all her cords and IV’S, she is going strong!!!!
Blessings
Last night around 12:00am, we got a knock on our door (parents room where we sleep), informing us that they were going to take out Gracie’s breathing tube. We jumped up and ran to her room and there they were prepping her to have her tube removed. They warned us that this usually is pretty traumatic for a child, so after it came out there would be choking, screaming (in a very hoarse way), they look around for something familiar, all in all it could go so many different directions. As they are pulling out the tube she is getting upset and moving all around trying to fight but when it is removed she lets out an upset little cry and after a few seconds she calms down and thing get mellow. She almost fell right to sleep. After telling mom about that experience she reminded me of Gracie’s blessing saying she would be calm through out this process. Gracie has been breathing so perfect and as expected, she was on 8 different medications and now she is on 1. They have moved her bed from an isolated room (for critical babies) to an open area with 3 beds in a row. (this is for kids that don’t need one on one care 24 hour a day! I am so thankful for her response to this surgery.
After going back to bed for a couple of hours I woke up at 2:30 to pump and check on Gracie, when I was walking to her room, there was one baby that I had notices earlier in our stay. I noticed her because her name was Reese, I love that name! Any way as I walk past where little Reese’s bed is there were monitors and beeps going off left and right, there were about 30 nurses and doctors surrounding her bed and there was an OBVIOUS silence, but aggressive being about the area. After checking on Gracie and talking with the nurse, she had said that this baby was a heart baby whom had the same surgery about a week ago, but this baby was a newborn and a premature baby, and the surgeon was on his way right now. When I was walking back past Little Reese’s area and I saw her mom and dad sobbing in the corner I so desperately wanted to stop and hug her mom. But I also wanted to be respectful of their privacy and situation so I just walked past and went back to my room. I couldn’t help but feel guilty for my baby doing so well and knowing how hard it is for her parents not to have such wonderful news. I cried and cried and offered a prayer for her and her family. Its times like this that I remember that no matter how hard life may seem for you, someone somewhere else is going through somethings much harder. Though I know this little Reese is still here because I saw her this morning I know she is not out of the woods and her parents just have to wait and watch (what a hopeless feeling). My love and respect goes out to them for the hurt and pain I know they must be feeling. I pray for thanks for my Gracie’s wonderful response and growth, and at the same time I pray for our heavenly father to bless the families of those who are struggling to know of his love for all of his children. Please give a little prayer for Reese’s parents. Thanks again for all of the support and prayers!
Posting a post reguarding Gracie’s Post Surgery!
Soooooo she is OUT of Surgery. Our surgeon has a sense of humor…… I had gone to go pump in the next room when Mark called to say that they were closing Gracie up and the Surgeon was coming to talk to us. I hurried up and was on my way back when I saw Mark in the hall with a look on his face. I didn’t know what to make of the look but I knew I had reason to be worried. He grabbed my hand and walked me into a room that we had NOT been waiting in… I knew this was going in the wrong direction. We sat down across from Doc Birch and he was holding something in his hand and would HARDLY make eye contact. He went on and on about the different things he came across and I was waiting for it……. waiting for it………. my stomach was upside down and inside out. I was turning pale. Finally I said “so were there complications?” He said no and continued along the path of explanation, I know he was trying to dumb things down for me. But still I could sense there was something wrong, so again I asked how she was or what he thought of everything…………. He said he thinks they went great and we were going to have a GREAT outcome. No complications and this should be a final issue to any problem we have had in the past……….. apparently he is a brilliant surgeon whom has not figured out how to speak with parents. Or a new idea was that all the surgeons get together weekly to compare parent responses. Whoever gets the best response win’s. Whatever it was Mark and I were in a panic…….. for nooo reason. I am thankful for having no reason to panic, but I could have gone without the feeling of having a reason to panic. Going into the PICU, and seeing Gracie for the first time after surgery was hard. She has tubes and wires all over the place and her body was swollen. I know we are going to be coming out of this just fine but we are still not out of the woods, BUT we see a clearing!!!!! Again thank you for all the prayers and well wishes. It has been hard and emotional but I know EVERYTHING happens for a reason and if nothing else Mark and I have grown closer together and I have really learned sooo much about trying to be a better mom. I am thankful for the challenges and the growth. Love to all
February 22, 2012
OFF Bypass
Just got a call from one of the O.R. Nurses telling us that Gracie is now off of bypass, this means that her heart is pumping on its own! I am sooooo thrilled. They are working on closing her up and controlling the bleeding. We (Nathan Mark and I )will be waiting to hear from the surgeon Doc Birch!
The Willison 